I've heard of people talking of being on the outside, looking in. I know what they mean, that intense longing to be a part of something, to be in, to be included, not alone with something. I, on the other hand, have often felt that I am on the inside looking out. I'm locked in place, rooted to a spot, unable to break free, while the whole world goes by without me. What did Mrs. Dalloway say about the most incomprehensible feeling on earth? As she walks out her door onto the bustling London street, she thinks: Some day all of this will go on without me. Then, she plunges herself into it. She pinpoints the very thing that is so impossible to grasp about death...that the life will continue after ours is gone.
But here I sit, while the world goes by without me. I see it, though, going about its business. the dog walkers, the ball throwers, the comings and goings of neighbors. And here I am on the inside, looking out, wanting but unable to take that plunge.
Another trope is the question: Is the glass half full or half empty? The answer is supposed to reveal the subject's world view. Is it positive or negative? Is the subject an optimist or a pessimist? Well, I'm here to tell you that there are times when you want that glass to be half empty. That's considered to be a wrong and very revealing answer, but, in this instance, context is mandatory.
